A few days ago, I answered Robert Ian Shepard’s question during his ‘Charming & Open’ event. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, I’d suggest checking out Ian’s page for all the details. Basically, it’s a way of generating content for your blog, whilst also promoting community engagement. A whole army of bloggers have bombarded Ian with questions and in return he dishes out some of his own in a rather bizarre you scratch my back, i’ll scratch your back kind of way.
Previously, Ian asked me the following:
If you could develop your own game, what kind of game would you make?
You can check out my answer here. After updating Ian that I’d finished my post, I felt a sudden hunger for more. So, I simply asked.
This leads me to my second question and thankfully it’s a hell of a lot easier that the first!
What video game character grinds your gears the most?
Now, more often than not, video games are supposed to provide moments of joy into the lives of those playing them. So why, every now and then, do we have ridiculously idiotic companions that just annoy the hell out of us? Yes, Claptrap, I know you’re designed to be annoying but that still doesn’t help the situation we find ourselves! It’s not just companions that can be tiresome; enemies, allies and even just generic NPC’s can make blood boil. So who grinds my gears? Let’s take a look.
Right, let’s make this rather straight forward. A top-5 list, perhaps?
Oh, I think so! But first, here are some dishonourable mentions:
Boomers – Left 4 Dead series
Officer Tenpenny – Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Ashley Graham – Resident Evil 4
Claptrap – Borderlands
Mr Resetti – Animal Crossing
I’m really sorry Mr Resetti… it wont happen again I swear. Whilst that irritating, self-righteous little mole it ranting away, here are my top-5 hated characters from video games:
5. Roman Bellic – Grand Theft Auto IV
Niko’s cousin seems lovable at first, he’s warm and inviting, but soon grows irritating. Although his frequent phone calls have become a huge inspiration for memes on the net, my distaste for all things Roman Bellic go way beyond his incessant phone calls and ‘tee-tee’ talk. He’s a chain gambling, sexist, cheater who seems to be more morally corrupt than Niko. He claims to love his squeeze Mallory, yet he talks endlessly about scoring with American girls. This guy is a bellend, and I do not want to go bowling!
4) Your Rival – Pokemon Red/Blue
Few things were more annoying in these otherwise fantastic games than knowing that your rival had already done everything you accomplish. There is a good reason why his grandfather, the great Professor Oak, clearly preferred you, the player, to him, and why the first thing to come to mind when naming him at the beginning of the game was something offensively hilarious like ‘Douche’. For someone who was generally pretty easy to pummel into the ground, he always had to be one step ahead, and he was never averse to letting you know it. He would happily jump out and battle you when you least expect it, before you’ve had a chance to check out where you are on your town map… which he specifically told his sister not to give to you. Arsehole.
3) Gareth Walker – Fifa 17’s The Journey
He’s your best friend, he’s been at your side throughout your entire life and when you’re both signed for the same club, you’d probably think “what luck!”, well apart from the snide comments and the occasional back-stabbing from this little runt, you’re probably right. Despite taking every chance you, as Alex Hunter, are given to prove you footballing worth, you end up being sent out on loan to the Championship. This human felch showed no sympathy and had not even the courtesy of replying to a text to go hang out at the local arcade (which as an upcoming footballing talent, I wouldn’t have been interested in either… it’s pretty lame). He continued to blank Alex in real life, but gave serious side-eye on Twitter instead. What a d*ck. In reading these tweets, I’d finally arrived at the desire to have him mortally wounded, I’d have loved to have seen his career end in some horrific way. Actually, I’d say that I went one step further and wanted him dead. Not just in a football sense, but quite literally. He might not be as intimidating as a particularly difficult boss or as constantly badgering as a supporting character typically can be, but his middle school haircut, Aryan eyes and overall aura makes me want to do bad things. Getting penalised for a late slide-challenge in the FA cup final never felt so good.
2) 343 Guilty Spark – Halo series
You’d think the collected knowledge of an ancient civilisation preserved in a self-reliant, robotic form charged with the preservation of all sentient life in the universe would be at least be matched with a voice that would make sentient life want to talk to it. Meh, obviously not. 343 Guilty Spark exists to manipulate you with his overly happy tech-babble. Being able to finally kill this flying toaster was an experience that I’ll forever look back on and smile. Apparently, Bungie originally designed 343 Guilty Spark to sound and interact similar to C-3PO from Star Wars. I mean, C-3PO grinds my gears, but he’s got nothing on this little hairdryer.
*CHARGES SPARTAN LASER*
1) Navi – The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time
SHUT THE F*CK UP! I’m trying to have an adventure here. God damn.
*INHALES DEEP BREATH*
Yes, my top pick for the most annoying video game characters of all time is Navi, the ‘helpful’ fairy from the excellent Ocarina of Time. While this whiny, little ball of light is intended to be a constant source of knowledge, to allow you to progress in the game, her constant irritating presence had the opposite effect. I have yet to meet anyone who actually enjoyed the character, and should that day ever arrive, I would truly question their sanity! Thankfully, by the time Twilight Princess came about, Navi had been relegated to a mere cursor. And it was the best thing that ever happened to her.
That’s all folks! Thanks for reading, and thanks again to Ian from Adventure Rules for posing the question.
What do you lot think, do you agree with my list?