Fall Of Duty: Capitalist Warfare

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Call Of Duty is a once loved series of FPS games that’s really taken a tumble these past few years. If you’ve managed to drift through your life unaware of the popular franchise then you’re probably a better human being than most, but having said that, you’ve really missed out on some fantastic, genre defining games.

Activision’s Call Of Duty games have been at the very forefront of the First Person Shooter industry since late 2003. The first three games released on console were incredible. They were gritty and portrayed World War 2 really well. Call Of Duty 3 is my all-time favourite COD game, it was fun, immersive and felt really expansive too. It was ahead of it’s time and set the foundations for it’s successor Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

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Actually, screw this. I’m not giving you all a history lesson. I’m going to get right to the point instead of stringing you all along. Call Of Duty is trash. It was once a promising franchise that made some quality games. Call Of Duty 4 really set the standard for online multiplayer. It’s unrivalled in the fact that almost every competitive shooter owes most of it’s success from the 2007 smash hit.
There’s no denying this. It was a truly incredible game, and though they have tried, Activision have never quite reached this pinnacle since.

In my opinion, the closest they came was Call Of Duty: World At War. Like COD4, it was a great game and built upon all the good things that the previous game did right. Plus, it had tanks!

With World At War’s success though, came the introduction of map packs and additional DLC. In all honesty, most paid it no mind and were happy to expand their Call Of Duty experience (me included!). Since this time though, unnecessary and downright awful DLC has become a mainstay in the series. To make things worse, DLC and Season Passes are now an intricate part of Activision’s business model.

Ah, I love the smell of capitalism. It helps ameliorate that succulent taste of being shafted by one of the industry’s biggest developers. If you’re unaware of said business model, then quite frankly, you’re worse than the guy (or gal, we’re all for equality here) who has never heard of the series in the first place! Since 2005 we have had a new Call Of Duty game every single year. That’s 12 games in 12 years! How many of them can you say were actually any good? The first few do themselves justice, but after 2008 the quality just peters out and each one gets worse and worse. Modern Warfare 2 and the first Black Ops were mildly average, but everything else has been utter garbage.

And we all know that DLC is a cancer, don’t we?

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Goddamn it… every time!

After 2010’s Call Of Duty: Black Ops, the only game they’ve release since that has been remotely enjoyable was 2015’s Call Of Duty: Black Ops III. This actually, was the first game in the series I succumbed to the season pass. Normally, I’d avoid multiplayer DLC like the plague, but I was having such a good playing this one with my friends that it just made sense to increase it’s play-time. Those first few weeks were an absolute ball and I can wholeheartedly say that it’s possibly the best one since Call Of Duty: World At War; it’s definitely the one I’ve had the most fun on. So there I was, throwing money onto the fire, £40 to be precise. I spent £40 on a season pass! I still can’t quite believe it. I’d been playing Zombies with friends a couple of times, so maybe the additional zombie maps were a factor in the decision-making, but £40 on four map packs, where the first isn’t due out for another three or four months was incredibly silly of me, out of character too. In hindsight, it was totally idiotic.

Idiotic. That’s me. Do you know how many of these shiny, new maps I’ve actually played? Just four. The first four. That’s right, I only played the first map pack as the ‘Black Market’ ruined the game for me, players could get overpowered guns simply by pumping real-world money into the game. I haven’t played that game for a long while, and that’s such a shame because they had a good thing going for them. So yeah, I paid £40 for a single map pack. I don’t actually think I even played all of those maps… great.

The black market… ugh! It makes me cringe and squirm just thinking about it. As if the season passes weren’t ridiculously priced anyway, the whores at Activision incorporate a ‘pay-to-win’ mechanic. Good work guys!

Black Ops 3

Hate is a very strong word, but you know what? I think it’s sufficient here. I hate Activision, I hate Call Of Duty, I hate The Beatles, I hate speed cameras, I hate it when the cold water splashes your bumhole when you’re enjoying a number two, I hate ironing, I hate Mondays, I hate it when you get in from a night out at 4 o’clock in the morning and you forgot to sort the bedding out after cleaning it, I hate traffic, I hate that my gaming backlog is so big, basically, I’m full of hate right now and perhaps a lot of that is down to everyone’s favourite first person shooter.

I literally hate everything about Call Of Duty nowadays. I hate how it’s monetised, I hate how it’s marketed, I hate the 12-year-old kids that play it, I hate how successful it is, I hate it’s lack of realism, I hate the DLC, I hate how you’re forced to buy the map packs because otherwise you’ll struggle to string two or more games together, I hate how 99% of players just camp, I hate that there’s no originality to it, I hate how small the maps are now, I hate how you can now put money into the game to unlock things, I hate how all the camos and outfits are garish, I hate how you can now ‘dab’ after a game’s finished…

…*throws up in mouth thinking about all of that*…

The thing about it that I hate the most, though? It’s the way that somehow, I’m dragged back into the fray again and again. Yep, I’ve finally crumbled and bought Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare Legacy Edition; and for obvious reasons.

Modern Warfare Remastered, baby!


What’s that? “Which game would you like to install first?”

Is this some kind of joke?

Wait ’til I get my hands on that MP44, you’re all f*cked then! I’ll see you on the battlefie… oh, I can’t really say that can I? Scratch that, I’ll see you online.

UPDATE: The story continues…

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10 thoughts on “Fall Of Duty: Capitalist Warfare

  1. More like “Call of Doodie”, amiright?

    Let the hate flow through you! It’s totally warranted for this franchise, man. Call of Duty is one of the pioneers of extracting money out of players’ wallets, and the reason it’s to prevalent now. It’s the little kids that ruined it, took over an entire genre of gaming, and made this whole thing normal. It’s very frustrating when a thing you like gets ruined by corporations pitching to children, which is extremely common in this industry.

    World at War was the last I played and it was a great time, or was it Modern Warfare 2? I don’t recall which came later. But I enjoyed the single player campaigns in the few games that I’ve played (as well as the zombie survival mode), and I will choose drinking cyanide over playing multiplayer online any day of the week.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I put so many hours into Modern Warfare back in the day, I was 13 years old at the time of it’s release, so I had the time to burn. They were some of the best days of my life to be fair, which is probably why it upsets me so much that Activision have moved in this direction. I always loved the realism of it’s pacing, it sounds silly but I thought the speed of gameplay was spot on.

      Since Battlefield 3 though, I certainly look to EA for my online large-scale FPS needs. Which is weird, because EA can be just as bad a Activision usually.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hate to be that guy but my favourite COD was the original on PC. I spent countless hours ducking behind dead cows and trying desperately to find a fox hole. The Stallengrad mission is one of the most memorable missions I’ve ever played.

    The new games are fine, but for me, they’ll never top that.

    Liked by 2 people

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